I want to hate you.
I want to hurt you, tear your beautiful face
To shreds and feel the way your
Skin falls like a final curtain over my mouth.
I want to make you ache until you
Realize how much we truly love, and how
What you say is not enough.
I want to take each careless apology you
Have tossed like scraps at my feet
And shove it down your treacherous throat
Watching your lovely eyes while you choke.
I want you to feel my pain, I want my
Words to radiate through your bones until
You spit out marrow that writes my name.
I thought you loved me, you drew me out to depths
With shallow promises, brushing hair and caressing lips
Before holding my head under again.
I would still do it. Again. Again.
You toy with me, flipping me with nimble fingers
Like a low-rent card trick, we all know
This isn’t the ending I wanted to pick.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “I Sent Him a Restraining Order and He Folded It Into a Paper Crane.”