and so, the tendency i have
to retreat into myself amidst any
perceived outward threat gets
challenged by you; the desire to pry me apart and
root into the causes the curses the explanations
why are you like this?
i don’t know, i promise to be better
i swear to you i try as i disappear into
the shallow depths of my mind. eaten up by desire
tied into knots by trivialities and still you wade into
endless pools of purgatory.
i am waiting here for you.
my love will grow barbed wires and thorns and
destroy all it touches but i am
trying to leave a small patch of sunny grass
upon a hill for you in my mind.
what can i say except i adore you? all i aspire is to
keep you pure from the incessant reaches of my hands,
the curdling wants of a possessive soul.
it takes time.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “At the Mercy of Past Transgressions.”