SOL: Avanti

Let’s pretend that when I asked for space
you opened your arms to give me the moon and
stars, that I’m not still picking at remnants of scars
wounds I retreated to tend to and aspired to heal

Let’s say that when I left, you crumbled under the weight
of your own misgivings, the things you wish you would have said in the
moment, memories that will eat you alive until you surrender
into a state of perpetual craving

Let’s play a game and omit that I’m not the only one basking under
the full force of your affection, as if all my professions were true
your lips are multifaceted acts, singing lullabies and sweet fallacies
fake friends, repentant lovers, things better left unsaid under covers

Let’s envision a way this ends in peace –
we both know it won’t be with your arms wrapped around me.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Every day she falls more in love with someone new.”

MIND: Addictive

Something in you pacifies me.
You’ve always had that power over me – part of you pacifies, another terrifies.
How do I get sick of that? I will never get sick of that.

// Henry Miller, from a letter to Anaïs Nin

MIND: Roots

I don’t lie to you.
Nor do I try to hurt you when I’m honest with you.
I’ve protected, or tried to, the best in you.
I never could promise to protect your body and soul –
nobody can promise another that.
We can only make one another strong, help each other to believe in ourselves.
He does not protect you – he makes you a slave.
You get befuddled.
You need him and he needs you – and it’s not true, it’s a lie, and you know it, and that’s the root of all your unhappiness.

// Henry Miller, from a letter to Anaïs Nin