SOL: Ownership

it took 28 years
to muster the courage to remove their
fingers from my skin
one by one, expressing infinite
tenderness, and explain
my body is my body is my body
it is not for their consumption
less for their control

my body is my body is my body.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Only With My Permission & Under Certain Conditions.”

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SOL: Me Vuelves Loca

First you managed to
Undermine my
Confidence, thrust a
Knife into the softer parts

Of skin
For pleasure
For fun, it was a

Charming game
At first but now I am filled with
Rapturous glee as you are
Lost in the shuffle
Overwhelmed by the
Stench of regret.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Left Behind, Reading Between the Lines.”

SOL: Gamine

She is eaten up by clever words
Rotting with desire, she abhors the way
It makes her feel; tormented by illicit thoughts
Wondering if she should have acted sooner.
Eyelids shut in reproach, searching for oblivion
As I adorn myself in honey, chains, roses, thorns.
She watches with barely repressed ferocity making nimble fingers
Shudder.
She watched me peel it all off, she ached with
The thought of how soft
It could be;
The all-consuming desire to sway the
Pendulum of pleasure a little further her way.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “The Devil Is A Woman.”

SOL: Stella

He gets high off the ways my
Body opens and creates space
Intergalactic highways through
Arteries making his heart race
Watching muscle stiffen and
Clench in unspoken haste

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Something Better to Send Into the Ether.”

SOL: Fabled

Slow dancing in a tsunami at
Midnight, bittersweet longing for
Disaster reflected in his eyes
Clench of teeth followed by atmospheric
Pressure release in each kiss
Locked limbs believing
It will never feel better than
This; the intoxicating knowledge of
Nothing left to lose
Each moment growing more savage
Riding waves of definite destruction
You open your mouth to worlds
Down below, secure in belief
Your devotion will keep you
From being deceived
Slipping off lies and wearing
The empresses’ new clothes
Body and soul, it feels much better
When you relinquish all control

3AM Thoughts // AKA “If You Can’t See It, You’re Not Ready.”

SOL: Euphoric

She asks me to succumb in
Four different languages, begging for
My submission in ten different ways until my
Body breaks and I have no choice but to cave
I watch her eyes change in an instant like moonlight into
Summer rays, she wears the sea to bed and in the
Morning I lick the salt to taste, ethereal projections play
Behind lids, I swear I will never sleep the same again

3AM Thoughts // AKA “I Make Her Soft, She Makes Me Better.”

SOL: Divinity

I saw her as my savior
Her body twisting between sheets was nothing
Compared to the way she held herself in a crowd
Prehistoric goddess, ancestral lore –
I imagine her angelic in white, voracious in red
Capricious in black; drunk on her own elusiveness
Letting the world convulse in throes at her feet
I see her tying up my insides
Through nimble fingers, pushing through all that remains
Broken backs, failing voices, nothing that feels
This good can ever last

3AM Thoughts // AKA “It Keeps Me Up All Night.”

SOL: Patient

Filing away loose moments like
Spare change
Time on a plane you loathe to
Erase, like the smile on
Your face when I stripped down to
Bare emotion and lace
It all feels so familiar as you lick
Off the taste, bitter on the lips
But answers to the same name

3AM Thoughts // AKA “A Fleeting Month, The Longest Night.”

SOL: Excuses

I gave myself over to you solely because
I had nothing else left
Your incompetent hands made a mockery of
The velvet dress draping my knees but I
Still smiled, still looked for something pure
In your gluttonous eyes
A pit-stop on the winding road to madness
You offered respite from the incessant clanging of my
Goddamn wants, needs, the have-to-have-you’s
If I could give you answers to the ticks
Of the clock lodged within my sternum, you know I would
Lost somewhere upon empty fields, awash in wild
Hypocrisy, lusty illusions, spurring on a fire burning brighter only
To be expunged far too soon

3AM Thoughts // AKA “My Hypothetical Love Is The Purest Form of Adoration.”