A pain stabbed my heart, as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world.
On the Road // Jack Kerouac
kerouac
MIND: Push
Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.
// Jack Kerouac
SOL: June
10.06.2014.
the gîte is claustrophobic. it became
unbearably hot in the last week and i’m
insatiably waiting for rain to come and
wash away the dirt on the windows and maybe
i’ll be ridiculous and
stand on the porch in the 3am rain
letting it saturate my pores and attempt to clear
away all the past resentments.
i felt so full of i-don’t-know-what energy that yesterday
i rode the bike into the middle of the forest and sat in
the midst of silence and tinkering animals until the moment was
perfect. then i screamed. from the hollows of my bones and out of my mouth
and my jaw hurt from how wide and bellowing the noise was.
i screamed and yelled like a vengeful medusa because i have
been keeping all my secrets and all their secrets and all his secrets and it
gets too much to bear sometimes.
afterwards i felt better and biked home, with no one but myself and the animals the wiser.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “No one likes to discuss the unbearable aspects of empathy.“
MIND: Hopeful
I have nothing to do but do what I want and be kind and remain nevertheless uninfluenced by imaginary judgments and pray for the light.
The Dharma Bums // Jack Kerouac
MIND: rebirth
I would spend all that winter and spring meditating under the trees and finding out the truth of all things.
The Dharma Bums // Jack Kerouac
Mind: Supplication
I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
// Jack Kerouac
MIND: Exhausted
Bah bah words.
Don’t think for a minute I’ve lost my faith, no, I’m tired of words, that’s all.
I’m dead tired of them bitches.
// Jack Kerouac
MIND: Out of Time
And it’s too late anyway for me to love, to love love, that is.
// Jack Kerouac
MIND: Mental Note
You may be withdrawn, but you don’t have to be mean about it.
// Jack Kerouac
MIND: Simple
One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.
// Jack Kerouac
