Let’s pretend that when I asked for space
you opened your arms to give me the moon and
stars, that I’m not still picking at remnants of scars
wounds I retreated to tend to and aspired to heal
Let’s say that when I left, you crumbled under the weight
of your own misgivings, the things you wish you would have said in the
moment, memories that will eat you alive until you surrender
into a state of perpetual craving
Let’s play a game and omit that I’m not the only one basking under
the full force of your affection, as if all my professions were true
your lips are multifaceted acts, singing lullabies and sweet fallacies
fake friends, repentant lovers, things better left unsaid under covers
Let’s envision a way this ends in peace –
we both know it won’t be with your arms wrapped around me.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Every day she falls more in love with someone new.”
I kept waiting up for you
In my dreams, but you never came
All the painted landscapes I’ve conjured up
Never seem to bear your face
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Where are you now?”
My teeth are clenched and my mind’s limits are
Being pushed into the ether – I wonder,
Does she know what it’s like to need her?
She draws me in like a tidal wave
Her smile reflects like a car crash with
The windshield smashed – somehow, she’s
Still got the last laugh
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Poor Fool.”
Wasn’t it better if they kept this desire to see each other hidden within them, and never actually got together? That way, there would always be hope in their hearts. That hope would be a small, yet vital flame that warmed them to their core – a tiny flame to cup one’s hands around and protect from the wind, a flame that the violent winds of reality might easily extinguish.
1Q84 // Haruki Murakami
She called me by his
name without shame – I’ll let her
pretend for one night.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 234.”
am i truly free
or have i stopped noticing
the bars of my cage
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 233.”
him: the one who held
me when i wasn’t sure i
would feel whole again
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 232.”
I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.
Tales of Ordinary Madness // Charles Bukowski
I moved away from
all that no longer served me
well (and that was you).
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 229.”
i want your longing
to eat you alive, it’s the
punishment you’ve earned.
3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 228.”