SOL: Regressive

In love with all the
versions of my past selves and
what I could have been.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 87.”

SOL: Clingy

There are some places
In the world where I swear I
Can still feel you there.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 68.”

SOL: Distant

The sickening moment of
It can’t be real, go back
The infinitesimal seconds between before and
After where everything is different
When it’s all so new that
You can’t even feel the hurt yet
The twenty-three seconds of suspense
Of self-induced purgatory, of serendipitous imbalance
Floating in a daze and staring in wonderment at
Karmic retribution, a vicious circle
The tricks a tired brain plays and
The drunk heavy tongue telling you it could have been worse
And you know it’s true but you still want
Seventy-five seconds of mourning
Or maybe twenty-four hours of loathing
Cursing the ill-fated luck that brought you
This lesson, imaging what you could have done differently until
It all blurs and you lose touch with reality

3AM Thoughts // AKA “He Watches With Disdain As I Disappear Inside My Mind.”

SOL: Memories

I threw away all your letters
But your words crept back into my head
And curled inside the base of my skull
Purring like a kitten
Until I woke to the memory of
Your baritone repeating, I love you
I love you, I love you
I washed away your touch from my skin
Until I was rubbed raw, pink and bleeding
But our memories blew in the window
And cradled, caressed and soothed
Until the angry marks faded
And if I focus I can feel
The languid strokes of your fingers
Painting masterpieces on my skin

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Tu Me Manques, Toujours.”