SOL: Borders

My entire body is
Combustible; my nerves are frayed
And teetering on the brink of
Relinquishing all control or finally
Throwing in the towel
It’s not a flag, it’s my
White dress I am waving, symbolically
Dragging myself further down

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Like Children, Mindlessly Drawing Lines In The Sand.”

SOL: Salve

Her hands were the closest
Thing I have ever felt
To a deity, a higher power
Or
Just
A rotten good time.
There must be
A cure for this; harnessing power
From a liberated women,
I watch her live through
Smoke screens, admire how
She avoids commitment through
Nimble feet, boca de piñón
She gives me the worst dreams.
I am sure through her palms I would be
Absolved of all sins, forgiven for future
Transgressions…
I would tear myself apart
To figure her out, to be given
The chance to see her in the morning
Stripped down, covered inch by inch
In the sun’s rays like
A slow eruption, a fiery blessing
Reticently learning that
All things worth having come
Attached to a lesson.

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Looking for Reasoning to Obsession.”

SOL: Pernicious

If ever you were to wonder why I loved him
It was for his poetic madness, his wild eyes
Clenching his teeth as he stared into mine
The addictive taste fear drips from lip to
Waiting tongue, it becomes all too much
Yet never enough
I sent him a restraining order and
He folded it into a paper crane with a
Savage smile thirty-two teeth too wide
The familiar sweaty handprints he left on my chest
On my lower back, on the nape of my neck
Impressions he longed to press into softest skin
Subliminal deceit he would whisper into
My ears as I would sleep, insatiable desires ate my lips
When we kissed, yet I complemented his sweetness
As deadly as it is

3AM Thoughts // AKA “A Mistake, A Lesson, A Warning.”

SOL: Realidad

Drinking red wine for breakfast
Each kiss tasting sweeter than
Your last cigarette, hand rolled, artist’s fingers
Leaving paint smudges on skin like
A canvas, tangible mementos
Terrace doors thrown open to the
Breeze, early summer sun casting
Illicit shadows on pristine white walls
You come only when she calls in the
Ultimate deceit
Wrought iron balcony turns into a
Late evening show, railing grasped tight
White knuckles, threatening to burst through skin
Sweaty repentance mixed with late night
Confessions, empty of remorse
Leaving on tip-toe while the house is still
Silent, praying no one ever knows

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Most Delicious As A Mistress.”

SOL: Sonder

I love you and
So I sit on each lonely terrace smoking
Poorly rolled cigarettes and dreaming
Of a different denouement, same climax
Something juicier I can sink my teeth into
Here I might have given you whatever
I have left, anything that had not been
Lifted from me already by worthless hands
(Yes, I still think of your fingers on my neck
But I digress)
Laughing in spite of myself, drinking bottomless
Coffee cups to soothe the lump in my throat
The emptiness that opened in my chest
When I said I was leaving and you said
It was for the best

3AM Thoughts // AKA “A Lesson In Indulgence, A Crash Course In Self-Control.”