SOL: Stella

He gets high off the ways my
Body opens and creates space
Intergalactic highways through
Arteries making his heart race
Watching muscle stiffen and
Clench in unspoken haste

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Something Better to Send Into the Ether.”


SOL: Inferno

Male gaze is a pyre
I would rather burn than keep
Feeding his desire

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Haiku 33.”

SOL: Scarlet

Lit a match, burned the effigy
Devoured his ego from the
Inside out, innermost desires
Dripping down face, satiating pores
I want him in his rawest form
Ripped apart, put back together
Infused with my fingerprints
The last shaky breath from my
Lungs as I come dissolving
On his tongue
The first letter of my name
Wrapping in cursive around
His brain, driving him

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Steady As She Comes.”

SOL: Fabled

Slow dancing in a tsunami at
Midnight, bittersweet longing for
Disaster reflected in his eyes
Clench of teeth followed by atmospheric
Pressure release in each kiss
Locked limbs believing
It will never feel better than
This; the intoxicating knowledge of
Nothing left to lose
Each moment growing more savage
Riding waves of definite destruction
You open your mouth to worlds
Down below, secure in belief
Your devotion will keep you
From being deceived
Slipping off lies and wearing
The empresses’ new clothes
Body and soul, it feels much better
When you relinquish all control

3AM Thoughts // AKA “If You Can’t See It, You’re Not Ready.”

SOL: Shades of Blue

Drunk on gin, high on euphoria, eyes
Closing as ice plays cacophonous
Applause on the sides of
Your glass, your hand coming unglued
Tentatively touching forbidden neck
Leaving apologetic drips of water on
Collarbones, bleeding down skin until it hits
My chest as you hold your
Breath – somehow this moment
Means more than the rest

3AM Thoughts // AKA “With Best Intentions, Against Better Judgement.”

SOL: Glorious

My body is no longer your body
It has changed since your
Fingers last tried to delve deeper
Than my spine
My body is my body and it
Holds silver, it bleeds copper
It becomes gold when
I step from the sea
It holds rings of sterling that
Are marked like badges of
All been done to me

3AM Thoughts // AKA “i am my own.”

SOL: Disruption

Aging Lolita, she smiles as
She knows this is as good as it gets
Cherubic target, he only registers defeat after she has
Sunk her teeth into his back
Running voracious hands through angelic
Spirals, devouring him out of spite, blaming
Recklessness on the pursuit of pleasure
Tossing regret to the wind and shedding
Inhibitions like the sweat that drips from
Her skin, still tight from the salt in the
Sea, the shape of her body makes him
Drop to his knees
Writing apologies, illicit whispers
In hungry ears, dragging a repentant body
Back to the beach, washing it clean

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Her Smile Promises Infinite Pleasure.”

SOL: Juxtaposition

Echoing sonnets ring from the ceiling
Your hand on my chest and
An ache coursing through spine
Bent over promises I made as
You come to collect on cold hard tiles
It was better before but
Bargaining for life will suffice
Daydreaming of freedom, praying softly into pillows for
The time to come, long awaited
Basking into the sunrise before you open your eyes
The sour taste you left in my mouth was rapidly erased
By the sweet stench of escape

3AM Thoughts // AKA “How Bad It Was – How Good It’s Become.”

SOL: Rhetorical

It is better than he could have
Dreamed, being loved by me
He wakes up in sweat-soaked sheets
Aching to the teeth
The softest imprint
In his mind of my body
Emerging from the lake, covered in
Lilies, dripping with promise
He convulses in agony
Losing sleep, begging for an answer
What does it mean?

3AM Thoughts // AKA “Stronger than desire but weaker than poison.”